I am having a 'Butter Side Down" day. What I mean is that everything I get involved in or touch: just like the toast at the beginning of what is shaping up to be a particularly trying day, goes on the floor 'butter side down'. There's a 50/50 chance of a different outcome but there it is.
These are the days when you lose control of your tooth brush and it ends up in the toilet, or the coffee is magically drawn to your clean shirt. Every one's nightmare scenario on this sort of day involves traffic jams and slow drivers. Heck let's face it: you really are the only one on the road with enough sense and courtesy to be driving anyway. Right? Photocopiers self destruct, lunch line-ups are long and the counter person tells you after you have waited and ordered they don't take Interac. I think you all get the point.
These days often appear out of nowhere, no rhyme or reason. Along they come and how you deal with it is as much about the kind of day it all turns into as it is about your character. I admit to being, in the past, a real freak outer gal. Zippers could make me apoplectic. I lacked the self discipline to reel it in and would eventually fall into a primo hissy fit, with tears and recriminations and a huge emotional hangover fueled by guilt and shame.
I have been very blessed to have been forgiven so often because there was a lot of wreckage in my path. I never meant to hurt any one's feelings or embarrass them or myself it just sort of snowballed and seemed to overwhelming to stop.
So today was just such a day. I was ticked off about having to go for an inconvenient lab test yesterday and still swimming in the chemical soup of hormones and wacked out neurons this morning. I could feel myself getting wound up. Losing patience, feeling an inappropriate sense self importance ( I mean, come on, don't they know who I am??).
Then I remembered that I was in charge of this stuff. I choose how it all shakes out. I don't want to be the uncontrolled, unhappy person I was before. I want to be gracious and kind and patient and helpful. I want the qualities that the Lord gave me in the Holy Spirit to be what goes ahead of me. Not my ego, pride, self centeredness or even my fragility.
So...deep breath, slower steps, smile and things turn around. Thank you Lord. I apologized to someone who was not sure how to take my behavior (even though it was sort of meant to be a joke it had a TONE).
Their loving heart put us together in a hug and forgiveness reigned.
God has opened my eyes to what I could be, gave me the Holy Spirit to make it happen and leads me as soon as I hold out my hand and ask for help. God is good!!!
